By Meghan Brennan
Around here, we’re kind of experts on the whole “travel” thing – by air, land, or sea – but there are a few things that pop into our heads no matter how many times we make the trek to the airport – and we bet a lot of them will sound pretty familiar.
– I hate parking at the airport.
– Why didn’t I get someone to give me a ride?
– Oh, because I’m taking a flight at the crack of dawn.
– Spot, consider yourself grabbed. Victory.
– I might’ve packed too much.
– Did I really need that third pair of shoes?
– Yes. Yes I did.
– Whoa. That check-in line is long.
– Good thing I checked in online. Score.
– And I don’t have to check luggage.
– Damn, I’m good at this.
– OK, there’s no way that’s the security line.
– OK, no problem, I can handle this.
– Maybe I should get Pre-Check. Do I fly enough for that?
– La la la la…lines are fine. I’ve got time, right?
– Still an hour before boarding. So yeah.
– Shoes off, jacket off.
– Liquid baggie out.
– Don’t beep don’t beep don’t beep.
– Didn’t beep. #WINNING
– Mmm…I should get a sandwich for the plane.
– Eleven dollars for a sandwich?
– Fine. Darn it.
– Oh, there’s my gate.
– Wait, we’re boarding already?
– When did that happen?
– Oh, they didn’t call my section yet.
– I guess I’ll just mill around here aimlessly for a bit.
– La la la…shake it off, shake it off, oh oh.
– Hey, my group! I’m outta here.
– Why are all of the overhead bins taken?
– No, seriously. Who puts two bags and their coat up there?
– Please don’t make me check this bag.
– Oh, thank you, lovely flight attendant, for finding a spot for my bag.
– OK, aisle seat, just you and me for the next two hours.
– Safety briefing time!
– Tube may not inflate.
– Hey, someone did my crossword puzzle and left the magazine! Rude.
– Floor lights will change color.
– Closest exit may be behind you – there it is!
– Ooh, here we go!
– We’re flying!
– Really, guys, we’re in the sky.
– How is everyone around me not excited?
– Ugh, fine. Don’t think it’s awesome.
– Alright, book, let’s do this.
– Oh, hello drink cart.
– Why is ginger ale so much better on a plane?
– Dunno, just is.
– Did he just say turbulence?
– SAVE THE GINGER ALE!
– Crisis averted.
– Well done, me.
– Oh good, a crying baby.
– I’m sorry for your pain, crying baby.
– But I’m also sorry for mine.
– How that man is sleeping through the combined noise of the plane, the crying baby, and his own snoring is astonishing.
– Aww, crying baby is actually kind of cute when it stops crying.
– Oh right, I have a sandwich!
– Sandwich, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
– Except for that nasty congealed mayo-type stuff.
– That’s pretty gross.
– Back to book.
– Final descent?
– Don’t you glare at me for looking out the window.
– Your window seat does not give you exclusive rights to the view.
– So, when can we do that again?
About Meghan Brennan